Kicking it up a notch

BAM. The big question on everybody's mind. What has Jason done since he's been back? Well, I'll tell you. Since ma left it's been nothing but practice practice practice. Alex, Tracy, and a few others and I have been polishing up for the National Workshops, which I leave for this saturday. In fact, we haven't been doing much else. I started teaching martial arts lessons again, and they roughly go for about 2 hours a day, every other day. Then me and Alex are usually so bored that we just sit around and choreograph shit for another few hours. In fact, we've been working so much that we're both starting to get sick. He's been really tired all weekend, and I've felt like shit since last night. My limph nodes are swollen, I have a damn head ache, I'm burning up. The weird thing is that its just my head that's fucked up, my body feels completely fine. Everything I do right now is pretty crucial. If we continue to over exert ourselves, I'm only gonna make myself worse for the weekend. At the same time I dont' want to not train for the 5 days before I leave. We're going to have 12 hour work days; I need to be at my best for it. Yes yes, I know that means rest. I've been trying to sleep more to counter act the shitty effects. And yes, it's worked-to some extent. I'm not malnutritioning myself either. I get plenty of food, fruit, and water (this time).

I feel a little bit better about the lonliness too. It hit me today when I was thinking about things, and I reminded myself about the little saying I say about winter. I'm absolutely fine with all those cold shitty days in the winter, because with out them I could never really appreciate the hot ones in the summer. It's the same thing about seeing my family from home. I'd get bored and tired of them if I was actually there all the time, and they'd feel the same way about me. It doesn't sound like much, but it carries lots of weight in my retarded (and empty) heart.